Living the Questions

How important are answers to you? Do you believe your answers must be my answers? How do you deal with unanswerable questions?

I remember being frustrated in high school when teachers began grading on a curve. I was very competitive (some might say I still am) and the curve often seemed to work best for the average student. I wanted to excel and didn't like the idea of others getting an advantage or getting a grade that I didn't think they ìdeservedî. I remember thinking/saying, ìA curve is only necessary because teachers don't know how to test. It they knew how to test properly, then, if someone knew all the answers, then they would get 100% and a grade of A; if they only knew 90%, a grade of B, etc.î I laugh now at my belief in answers, the certainty of ìcorrectî answers; and the belief that all of this should be able to be accurately measured.

Of course, I also believed that I had the answers to life's ultimate questions as well. I was brought up Christian and was taught that the bible held these answers. I decided at the age of 10 that I would be a minister and help others to know these answers. My first discouragement about these answers came my freshman year of high school when I had joined a fundamentalist club called ìYouth for Christî. After only a few months, I withdrew from the club because it felt too certain and too exclusive. Then my simple faith was further challenged, ironically, when I attended my church-related college. My bible classes even taught us to review the scriptures critically and understand their historical context. I quickly found myself with more questions than answers.

Most of my adult life and career have been spent feeling less and less certain of any answers. A professional colleague of mine helped frame this perspective, when he defined religion as being concerned with the answers to ultimate questions; and spirituality as being concerned with living the questions.

I now find great excitement in life in living the questions. I love to be in community with others who know their limitations, but seek to learn life's lessons. I am always suspicious of people who have total certainty. The planning for Pathways' national conference ìlifedeathafterlifeî is the best example in my life of this adventure. For two days, we will live in community with people who have no answers, but who love the explorations of questions about life, questions about death, and questions about afterdeath. The participants will be as much the experts as the authors and artists we have invited. We will explore the questions, with our mind, with our emotions, with our bodies, with our spirits; using the arts, our imaginations, research, case studies and personal experiences. We will live the questions. Any answers will be limited to individual applications.